a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
