around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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