So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
