I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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