If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
