so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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