Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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