i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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