Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
