I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize