i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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