I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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