i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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