i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He? As in you personified your dick?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
