You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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