from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Screwed.edu
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
