fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
