I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize