Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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