It's Friday. Sex?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We have so much sex to catch up on
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
