i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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