I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
