I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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