We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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