Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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