I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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