God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize