You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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