Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
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he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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