didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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