Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
