dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
