My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
