Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
