like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
