Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
