Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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