He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dear god my vagina.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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