One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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