I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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