Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
