How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize