And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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