We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
