Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
