508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
