She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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