Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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