you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
