I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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