Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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