do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
