so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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