I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
