While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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