Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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