we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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