This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
