i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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