i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
