Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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